For those of you with significant others, does it bother you if your partner has a little online flirtation in their blog/chatrooms etc.?
Way back in 1997, when I got out of my first serious relationahip, with a not-so-nice boy, I took to IRCing....all the time. It was way too much fun to pass the time with strangers, in a chatroom, to the wee hours of the night. A safe little community, where you could remain anonymous to a degree. I IRCed regularly for about two years...and then the fun wore off and I went to uni and that was that.
I can't recall ever striking up a relationship with a guy online. There were guys (and girls) that I looked forward to talking to and there was the allure of "who is he?" but that was it.
My current boy is very good-looking (to me of course, every one has their own taste). But I've watched him blog and chat on other sites and the girls come out of the woodwork. And we're not talking "hello, how are you?". We're talking automatic "xoxo, you're really cute". (no, he's not on pick-up sites:P). I try to remain cool and calm, but sometimes it really gets me and the evil jealousy monster comes out to play. I'm being bare-bones honest here.
So I don't know what to do, I certainly would never ask him to stop because that would be like asking me not to post here...but I need to know if this is common, not alone? Am I crazy?....hahaha ok I know I"m not...but has anyone else ever had this problem? How was it resolved?
11:15 AM - May 31, 2008 -
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I have to be honest and say it would bother me immensely. If you talk to someone long enough, there is the possibility that you will form a connection with them. And besides, if you are in a relationship, why do you need to chat to other girls online? You should be in the other room chatting to your significant other...:)
My husband comes up behind me when I'm on the computer, to see what I'm doing, now THAT is annoying.
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Thanks Laurie, I agree, he does get off the computer shortly after I come home, say under 5 min., but then that gets my suspicions up all over again. in my gut I don't think he's done anything...but it still irks me and causes conflict ya know?
bonadrag - 12:45 PM - May 31, 2008
I'm late but...
I say no. Because apparently people on the internet have a tendency to take things too seriously and think you are hitting on them when you don't even realize you are flirting...
>_<
alittle - 1:09 AM - June 14, 2008
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It would definitely bug me.. although his getting off the computer when you get home could go either way. He could either be hiding something, or he could just prefer talking to you to talking to his online friends. I don't know if he enjoys the flirting because flirting is fun, or if he enjoys it because he needs an ego stroke every once in awhile.. or if he *gulp* is keeping his options open.. I guess it depends on whether or not he's dated girls he met online before. You could try having a chat with him.. ask him what it is that he enjoys about it so much.. tell him you used to like it too.. see what he says!
faithworld - 10:29 AM - June 14, 2008
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Talk about it. Tell him that you feel jealous, but make sure he knows that you're not sure whether you *should* be feeling jealous or not. Try to keep it as more of an open-ended conversation than an accusation or a demand.
Some people are flirtatious by nature. Me, for example, hehe. My boyfriend is, too. He knows I'm a flirt, I know he's a flirt. We don't do it a lot - for each other's sake we've toned it down because it's only natural to feel protective of your love interest. But I trust that he's with me for a reason, and he trusts that I'm with him for a reason - because we'd rather be with each other than with anyone else. Keeping this in mind, it's much easier to tolerate some innocent flirting. Plus, he's introduced me to his online friends and I've introduced him to mine. It's not like we flirt with strangers - we flirt with people that each of us know, and we do it openly. But we're talking very light flirting here. A regular conversation with maybe a few double entendres thrown in, that kinda thing.
But yeah, I think you should just have a chat with him about it. Explore each other's feelings and see if you can't come to some mutual agreement.
WelshPixie - 10:48 AM - June 30, 2008
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Thanks Del and we did have a nice solid chat. I really believe a lot of these "jealousy" bouts I get are still tied to losing my mum last year. I seem to be absolutely terrified of losing anyone else-so I lash out and get paranoid and jealous. The good thing is I'm really starting to understand this and see the pattern..now I just have to calm down and think before I speak and remind myself the true reasons why I'm feeling that way. :)
bonadrag - 10:56 AM - June 30, 2008
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Ah, of course.
He sounds like an understanding type and a good listener. You're lucky ;o)
WelshPixie - 11:00 AM - June 30, 2008
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