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Wednesday night vino

Posted in Thorns
it's 8pm, and I'm enjoying my wine which is sure to give me a massive headache tomorrow. listening to the new Death Cab for Cutie...which is quite lovely.

I had my second counselling session tonight with my therapist.
I decided to take full advantage of my work benefits and began grief counselling a couple months ago.

Tonight's ephiphany was "Structure". It was mind-blowing discovering how much structure I need in my life. Especially since I took off to Japan 5 years ago. I packed a bag, got on a plane, had no knowledge of the country or the language or my accomdations and just went. No structure. Just living.

Definitely the death of my mum has magnified my structural needs. I absolutely have to have my day and week planned. I also provide no room for flexibilty.

I wake up, get dressed, have coffee, go to work, structure my employees' day, come home, eat dinner and have a very regimented TV schedule. If friends call with spur-of-the-moment plans, I say no.

So, I did know this about myself, but I did NOT realize how 'structure' has infiltrated every single aspect of my life.

What happened to the girl who took off to Japan on a whim?
What happened to the girl who could do anything at any time?

The wine is making me ramble. I will get back to her...I will find her and embrace her and become her once again.

Next issue: relationships. What accountability/responsibilty do you have to your partner?

Can't get into it now...wine will make me rage.

7:57 PM - May 14, 2008 - post comment


Untitled Comment

you wrote about much more than just this, but I wanted to ask you - what's your favourite kind of wine?? I've been getting more and more into it over the last year and I want to keep expanding my tastes!

faithworld - 9:05 PM - May 14, 2008


Untitled Comment

Hey Tara!

It's good to see you back. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss - and admire you so much for having the strength to talk about it like this. You're a strong woman. *hug*

WelshPixie - 9:51 AM - May 18, 2008


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