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Wednesday night vinoit's 8pm, and I'm enjoying my wine which is sure to give me a massive headache tomorrow. listening to the new Death Cab for Cutie...which is quite lovely.I had my second counselling session tonight with my therapist. I decided to take full advantage of my work benefits and began grief counselling a couple months ago. Tonight's ephiphany was "Structure". It was mind-blowing discovering how much structure I need in my life. Especially since I took off to Japan 5 years ago. I packed a bag, got on a plane, had no knowledge of the country or the language or my accomdations and just went. No structure. Just living. Definitely the death of my mum has magnified my structural needs. I absolutely have to have my day and week planned. I also provide no room for flexibilty. I wake up, get dressed, have coffee, go to work, structure my employees' day, come home, eat dinner and have a very regimented TV schedule. If friends call with spur-of-the-moment plans, I say no. So, I did know this about myself, but I did NOT realize how 'structure' has infiltrated every single aspect of my life. What happened to the girl who took off to Japan on a whim? What happened to the girl who could do anything at any time? The wine is making me ramble. I will get back to her...I will find her and embrace her and become her once again. Next issue: relationships. What accountability/responsibilty do you have to your partner? Can't get into it now...wine will make me rage. 7:57 PM - May 14, 2008 - post comment
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